Violence

• threatening to leave her, to commit suicide, to report her to welfare
• making her drop charges
• making her do illegal things

USING INTIMIDATION

Making her afraid by using looks, actions gestures

• smashing things
• destroying her property
• abusing pets
• displaying weapons

USING EMOTIONAL ABUSE

Putting her down

• making her feel bad about herself
• calling her names
• making her think she’s crazy
• playing mind games
• humiliating her
• making her feel guilty

USING ECONOMIC ABUSE

preventing her from getting or keeping a job

• making her ask for money
• giving her an allowance
• taking her money
• not letting her know about or have access to family income

USING MALE PRIVILEGE

treating her like a servant

• making all the big decisions
• acting like the “master of the castle”
• being the one to define men’s and women’s roles
  

USING ISOLATION

Controlling what she does, who she sees and talks to, what she reads, where she goes

• limiting her outside involvement
• using jealousy to justify actions

USING CHILDREN

Making her feel guilty about the children

• using the children to relay messages
• using visitation to harass her
• threatening to take the children away
  

MINIMIZING, DENYING, AND BLAMING

Making light of the abuse and not taking her concerns about it seriously

• saying the abuse didn’t happen
• shifting responsibility for abusive behavior
• saying she caused it.